My Feminine MANifesto

Taking notes from TakesUpSpace‘s Cis Privilege Checklist (and relevant Introduction), I would like to point out that this MANifesto represents me and only me. Anyone else whose need is met by this may ascribe to any part of it that they like, but I am only defining my own views and values.

1. As a human,
   • I deserve dignity, equal access, and respect.
   • I set the boundaries on what I will and won’t discuss dependent on how I see you.
   • I will be as humorous, gentle, angry, quiet, outspoken, or silly about my life as I see fit.
   • I will revise and reword, add and take away from this MANifesto as I see fit.
2. As an activist and educator, don’t ask or I will tell you and expect you to listen.
   • I won’t expect you to understand, but I will expect you to think deeply about it.
   • Speaking of my experience/those of others/medical knowledge is not coercive. It is talking about life. There is no agree/not agree. There is only understand/not understand, similar/different experience.
3. This is a medical condition with social ramifications, not the other way around.
   • Sexual Reassignment/Transition are cis-centric language that implies reaching toward being something I’m not.
   • Gender Confirmation Treatment is the appropriate phrase to use because it honors the fact that I’m becoming and reflecting who I am.
   • Taking testosterone is not to be equated with rogaine or diet pills. It is a life-preserving treatment taken by males to fight illnesses such as cancer and hormone imbalances.
   • Reconstructing my chest is not plastic surgery. It is a life-preserving treatment that men with gynecomastia get all the time.
4. I do not claim to represent or be homogenous to:
   • people whose authority-assumed sex/gender does not match their self knowledge
   • men who go through Gender Confirmation Treatment
   • queer men
   • white-appearing queers
   • queers in poverty
   • queer parents
   • any other label to which I may ascribe/you may try to ascribe to me.
5. I do not identify as ‘transsexual’.
   • Transsexual is a label that denies my maleness.
     • It also implies that I’m reaching toward something. I simply Am. No special language required.
     • No 2 males (even in the same family/school) have the same experience, my male experience is just another version of growing up.
     • I will use the term ‘out transman’ as useful but inaccurate language for purposes of activism and support. It is not Who I Am.
     • I refuse to go stealth. It would be a disservice to my goals.
   • Biology has known for years that neither sex nor gender is binary. Culture Lies.
6. My gender is Male. The definition of what makes me male is up to me:
   • I’m not doing this because I was abused, or because I hate my mother, or because I’m unable to deal with my own or cultural misogyny. I’m doing it because I’m not a woman.
   • I am not ‘a man who used to be a woman’. I am a man who was RAISED as a woman.
   • Don’t ask me to use the womens’ room. You may use the bathroom as you please and I expect the same.
   • Don’t call me she. My belongings are not ‘hers’. I am he/his/him, 100% of the time, 100% of places.
   • I refuse to be monotone, expressionless, or careless about the feelings of others. Don’t push your misandry on me! Life is bright and colorful and meaningful, and I WILL celebrate it!
     • I will not stop my Gender Confirmation Process because you think I’m not manly enough.
     • Preferring Fashion and Tea to Sports and Alcohol are personality, not gender.
   • I will not adopt hyperfeminine behavior. That is not who I am either.
     • I will not be a twink to make you comfortable.
   • Marrying a man is not evidence that I’m ‘really a heterosexual woman’. Men who sleep with other men are no less male.
   • If you misread my gender, that’s your own fault:
     • I am more than the sack of meat I inhabit implies.
     • Your reading of me is based on your own take on family, sexuality, and gender.
     • It doesn’t change who I am.
7. ‘Passing’ is a cis-centric concept implying that I desire to ‘fool’ you.
   • There is nothing deceptive in me dressing, talking, or styling my hair as the man I am.
8. I support neither feminism nor patriarchy, I’m egalitarian.
9. I’m not gay, I’m QUEER.

• I’ve seen Lesbians marry men
• I’ve seen Gay men marry women
• My husband’s gender does not define my sexuality.
• I’m still not interested in your (insert genitalia here), ESPECIALLY if you worry that I am.